Is It A Crime
by elitemassacre6
Summary: After Rachel finds Santana practising her song for the auditions for the Nationals solo Mr. Shue and Jesse are putting on, it sets into motion a series of events which bring two old friends back together again.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel is bouncing on her toes, practically skipping her way towards the auditorium. It's just after four thirty and the Cheerios should be long gone by now, as well as the football players. Which gives her the opportunity to climb the steps to the stage and spend an hour or so honing her craft in her second home.

But as she nears the heavy oak double doors she can hear the clear tones of a saxophone through it, with a trumpet following. The melody is smooth and jazzy and it reminds her of the kind of music her daddy puts on before he makes her dad put his work away and dance with him. In fact, she's sure she recognizes it as one of Sade's many songs.

Slowly, Rachel pushes open the right side door and slips in after it, her gaze following the sound of the opening lyrics to the song being sung by the last person she expected to be up on that stage. Santana Lopez sits on a wooden stool at center stage, singing with her eyes closed, microphone stand lowered in front of her. Her voice flows from her lips softer, smoother, and huskier than Rachel has ever heard it, and it draws her further in until she's sitting down in the first seat of the first row, setting her things in the next seat over.

"This may come, this may come as some surprise...but I miss you. I can see through, all of your lies, but still I miss you."

Right, she remembers the song now. Is It A Crime...right. Santana continues to sing the song, switching all pronouns to better fit her situation, Rachel guesses. When the track calls for it her voice fills the space around them, giving the only member of the audience chills and causing goosebumps to rise on her skin.

As the song nears it's end, Rachel starts to wonder if this is the song the taller girl intends to sing for the nationals solo audition with Jessie and Mr. Shue. And, if so whether she herself should perhaps do her part in helping Santana share her talent with the world. She grabs her things and stands, quietly sneaking out of the side entrance.

As much as was looking forward to singing a solo on any stage in New York, Rachel knows she'll have that in the future. Today though, perhaps it's high time she be a true captain and help showcase one of the immensely talented stars the new directions has in abundance.

Quickly opening her eyes, Santana hops down from her stool, she's sure she heard a door open, or shut, or something. She looks around but doesn't see anyone, so she grabs her phone and speaker off the piano and hops off the stage and walks to where her stuff is on the second row floor. She grabs her bag and her sheet music then looks down again, there's a folder under the first row seat so she reaches down and grabs it, flipping it open to get a look at what's inside. Barbra Streisand sheet music? She knew she heard a door. Berry, of course. She wasn't going to change her music just because Berry got a sneak peek.

In fact, she'd return the sheet music, make it look like she wasn't worried at all. Berry probably went to the choir room to practice, and she was probably looking for her music already. Santana slung her backpack over her shoulder and stalked out of the auditorium, forcing a nonchalant mask over her features and pulling her lip out from between her teeth. She went around a few corners and then smacked the choir room door open, hearing Rachel squeak when it slammed against the wall behind it.

"Sup, Hobbs. Think you might've forgotten something when you fled the crime scene? This horrible excuse for music is yours." Rachel turned from where she'd been searching through her bag and reached to take her sheet music, but Santana pulled it back, stepping into the diva's personal space.

"If you think knowing what I was going to perform is gonna help you win yet another solo you're sorely mistaken, Berry. I deserve this and I'm gonna have it." She handed off the folder and went to cross her arms over her chest but let them fall. Britt told her once that doing that meant you were most likely insecure and/or on the defensive.

"Santana...that wasn't my intention. I was here to practice, that's all. I didn't expect anyone to be there, it's why I was here so late. The sport practices are long done by this time so I thought all the Cheerios and jocks would be gone and I could get a few performances in relative peace and safety. But then I heard you and I couldn't not listen...I mean I am Rachel Berry. Music is like my drug. Not that I endorse drug use. I surely don't. Your performance was almost entirely flawless, Santana, I wouldn't be me if I didn't listen."

Honestly Santana wasn't sure how she survived through that whole diatribe, but she had, and she'd listened.

"What the hell do you mean 'almost' hobbit. You know how many hours I put into that shit?" A lot. It had felt like a part-time job, really. And she couldn't help wondering if this was how much time Berry spent on honing her talent. What with her always saying she had dance, voice, and acting classes all week, not to mention the time she spent working on it by herself. And you know...maybe, just maybe, she was starting to see that of all of them, Rachel did deserve solos, because she worked the hardest. Just not all of them, for god's sake.

"I said almost because I believe the song requires a live band to have the same impact that Sade's original does. Many of her songs have that lounge singer feel, Is It A Crime included. So I think live band, perhaps vintage lounge singer black dress, and Bradley at the piano...all of that would be a fantastic touch. Not that I'm trying to micro mange your performance at all. I've just been thinking about it since I left the auditorium." Rachel finished, voice so low it was almost a whisper as she admitted to thinking about the taller girl's performance. Santana had to admit she was right. You know...to herself.

"Yeah...okay. I'll uh...take what you've said under consideration or whatever. But I doubt it's gonna matter. Jesse St. Dickhead is probably just gonna choose you anyway. That asshole is still totally in love with you. He chose a hell of a way to show it though, seriously. Like...option one ' take girl to Broadway show, give her lilacs. ' Option two ' assault girl with something she doesn't even eat. ' Like honestly Is that not the stupidest thing you've ever heard of?"

Seriously? Since when is Santana allowing herself to have decent conversations with Rachel Berry of all people? Then again, it's not like she has anyone else to talk to besides her five year old brother. And as much as she loves him, (and god, does she) she can only talk about Wild Kratz and random animals so much.

"How did you know I like lilacs?" Rachel tilted her head, her nose scrunched up, and that admittedly cute pout of hers took over her lips.

"You mentioned it before, Tiny. I don't ever really forget shit."

"Hmm. I don't recall when I may have done that."

"It was a long time ago. We were nine. It was spring, and school was going to let out in less than a week, so Ms. Riley let us have class outside and she asked us what our favorite part of spring was. Everyone just said being close to getting out of school. You said the lilac blooms in your daddy's garden." Rachel's smile spread over her cheeks and that dimple on her right cheek showed itself.

"Oh! I remember now. You said you loved the blooming trees down main street. Wow...much simpler days. I wonder if...if I knew then what I know now, how different things would be." The smile fell from her lips and pure melancholy took over her features. Santana tried to catch her eyes for reasons she wasn't sure of herself. You know, beyond the sometimes crippling guilt she felt.

"Look, tiny...I'm s-" Rachel turned and caught her eyes immediately, a fire she only ever saw when it involved performing lit under the clear glass like mahogany of her eyes.

"Don't." Is all that fell from the star's lips, and it shut the Latina down for a moment. Fuck, and all of this because of her fear. She'd felt justified until she saw through that tiny crack in Rachel's usually impenetrable smile.

"But...shit Tiny. I am. I don't have to tell you why I've done this. Fuck, though. Damn near everyone knows, Britt's off riding Steven Fucking Hawking, and I don't know what the hell to do about Q and her regression. Fucking feels like none of it was worth it."

"Please. I said don't. Let's just get back on topic, thank you."

"Topic?" Rachel turned away but nodded, picking up her phone and setting one of her ear buds into her right ear.

"You don't have to concern yourself with Jesse's inevitable behavior. I'm dropping out of the running for the solo so that isn't a concern. Mer-"

"What?!"

"Mercedes...will do what she always does which isn't what we need, and Jesse will see that as well. And though she's highly talented, your voice is more powerful than Tina's. You'll win with this song, though you'll have to start work on something different for nationals itself. You should start on that immediately. I have a list of suggestions for you, and I should have a few more now that I know you can make your voice fit a Sade song so well. I'll have them for you tomorrow morning."

Santana just watched her turn her back again, her jaw hanging open. God what had she done in the last hour to break the tiny girl in front of her? She liked the old Rachel Berry. The sometimes obnoxious but always adorable Berry who wouldn't volunteer to give up a solo if the world was ending around her. The one who would help foolish Latinas who'd spent the last two and a half years picking all her insecurities and attacking them. Who'd been the only one to talk to and play with her when they were in elementary and she'd just began to fluently speak English. Who'd been her first crush as a first grader. Who she'd brought flowers she'd picked from the garden next to the school.

"Rachel...I'm so fucking sorry, bear." Santana gently lay her hand at the small of the shorter girl's back, stepping forward to be closer and then slipping her arms around the slim waist in front of her. She hugged tight and buried her nose in Rachel's raspberry scented hair. Dios, this is not what she thought she'd be doing today. But it was high time for her to beg to get her oldest friend back. She needed her just as much as she always had. And it didn't take a genius to know that Rachel needed her too. She hugged tighter and it felt like...like home. The Latina felt the first tears falling from her eyes. The knot in her throat tearing the first choked sob from her lips.

"Can you please just go, Santana? I...I promised myself I'd never cry in front of you. So I need some...privacy." Reluctantly, the taller girl let go and stepped back, grabbing her bag up and turning around to leave.

"I'm not giving up. I'll grovel even if I don't have to, Rae Bear. And you don't have to be afraid of me anymore. I promise I'll be the girl you knew again." She walked out of the room and shut the door behind her. The last thing she heard was Rachel breaking down. Her sobs reaching her ears and breaking her heart just a bit more. Fuck, what had she been doing to the them? She felt like shutting herself in her room for a few days and crying until she couldn't anymore. But she had work to do.

She pulled out her phone and sent out a mass text, adding Rachel to the list. She may not be a Cheerio anymore, but she had no problem solving problems with her fists. Plus Puck would help, probably. The first text she got back was from the current head cheerleader, Olivia Hawkins. It was a short message of 'You know I've got your back, Cap' and a thumbs up. A minute later she was climbing in her car and pulling her seatbelt. Her next came from Azimio asking her if being out of uniform was making her soft. She texted back in that he could come find out how soft her fists were any time he wanted. He fell in line and that was all she needed. Cheerios and football players. Monday would be an interesting day at WMHS.

Now that was taken care of though, she wondered how Rachel was doing and if she was still at the school or already at home, buried under her covers and crying. She tried not to think about Rachel crying anymore and wondered how Quinn would react to all of this. Would she challenge her on this? Because as much as she loved her, Santana wouldn't allow anyone to get in the way of making things right again.

She backed out of her spot, an idea on how to start forming in her mind.

She wished she could stop crying. Her eyes were so sore and was exhausted. Should she have let Santana stay? When they were kids, her Tana always gave the best hugs after someone had picked on her. It had always felt like home in those arms, just like earlier, when Santana had wrapped her arms around her waist. It had felt so right but more than anything just strange. The only time her childhood friend had touched her in the last six years was to shove her, trip her, shoulder check her, things like that. Unless it was choreographed.

God, she wanted to forgive her. She almost had to. How could she forgive Quinn, Kurt, Mercedes, and Noah so many times and not forgive her oldest friend? It would be wrong. Rachel sat up and pulled her blankets down from over head and reached for the tissue box on her by bedside table. She wiped her nose and tossed the tissue in her trash, reaching for her phone and opening a text to Santana, prepared to perhaps ask her to stop by when she heard a knock on her open door and looked up. Her daddy was standing there carrying a wicker basket. She could see a large bouquet of purple lilacs hanging over the side. Wait, were those nerds candies?

"Hey, baby girl. Santana brought this by. Here, read the note before you start devouring all the candy." He handed over the note and placed a kiss on her forehead before sitting down and grabbing one of the many bags of sour patch kids.

'Hey, Rae Bear. I know you were probably buried under your sheets a few moments ago, but I thought you could use some cheering up. I'm so sorry for the million things I need to apologize for. I know words mean a lot to you, but I'm afraid that words can never make up for the pain and anguish I've put you through. I thought that maybe actions could be a better start. I know that you typically keep a very healthy diet but that you like to treat yourself when you're feeling low. So I brought you some of the things I remember you loving that are vegan so you can do just that. Oh, I bought you some coconut ice cream so you can make that nerds blizzard you used to love when we were kids. Once again Rae, I'm sorry, and I miss you. Enjoy the treats and your favorite flowers.'

She bit down on her lip, picking up the lilacs to smell them, a smile fighting its way onto her lips.

"Daddy...is she..." He popped a red sour patch in his mouth and chewed for a moment.

"Still here? Yes, baby. She's downstairs begging your dad for forgiveness. She brought him some of Maribel's arroz con pollo. Wait here, I'll send her up." Her father stood and walked out of her room, and she reached into the basket full of candy and pulled a fruit by the foot out. By the time she'd unrolled the whole thing she started eating at one side, looking into the basket and digging in to find something else tasty, the fruit by the foot hanging from her mouth.

Hey, Bear. I guess some things never change, huh? I still squash mine together and eat it all at once. You...um...you okay? Fuck that was a stupid question right? I'm sorry. I've never really been good saying what I mean or talking about my feelings. But you know that." Rachel sat up straighter, sticking the rest of her candy back in it's wrapper.

"Feelings? Are there...you have feelings for me?" Her heart sped up in her chest and she wished upon herself that Santana would say yes. She could clearly remember the way the taller girl had made her feel when they were kids. Like she was lovable. Like she was worth someone's time. She hadn't felt like that again until Finn started paying attention to her sophomore year. Though she'd be lying if she said he measured up to the girl standing in front of her. The girl who'd been her real first love.

" You were my best friend, I loved you. You were my first crush. It's kind of how I knew I was gay later on when I thought about. As for now, despite how utterly fucking stupid I've been, I care about you. I don't ever want to hurt you again. And I won't let anyone else hurt you either. I've taken care of that."

Rachel bit down on her lip. Santana had loved her, had had a crush on her. Was it strange that although Santana was speaking in past tense about all of this, all of her feelings were decidedly present tense?

"Wait, what do you mean you've taken care of it"

"I put you on the list. It means you're protected and anyone who fucks with you will quite suddenly find themselves in highschool hell. Not to mention at the business end of my fists. That includes the gleeks." Santana moved to sit down in Rachel's desk chair and the brunette in the bed tapped the spot in front of her and motioned for her to sit there instead.

"I would ask how you accomplished this without even being a Cheerio but you _are_ Santana Lopez. Thank you. Just be careful about unleashing Snixx on anyone who doesn't fall in line. The last thing I want is for you to get expelled because of _me_, okay?" So please be careful." The Latina nodded and reached over, grabbing one of Rachel's pillows to lay down on when black furry tail appeared from between the two pillows. Santana grabbed it and pulled it into her arms. It was a stuffed black panther with 'Snixx' stitched into the side in red thread.

"Dios mio, no way! Snixx? Rae, you kept her? It's been so long. Like ten years..." Rachel smiled and nodded.

"I couldn't not keep her. Remember what you said. She's a part of you that you left to protect me. And if you like seeing her again, I've got someone you should meet. Give me a moment, I'll return shortly." Rachel got out of bed and walked out of her room and down the hall to her father's. Her daddy was laying on the bed watching tv, her kitten, Snixx, laying on his chest while he petted her.

"Hi daddy. I just came to get Snixx so I can show her to Tana." He opened his arms and the Bombay kitty jumped into Rachel's arms. She turned back around and walked into her room next door, setting Snixx down, who went and laid in Santana's lap and curled up immediately.

"Wow, she's cute. And she looks just like Snixx. When did you get her?" Santana asked, already petting the quietly purring kitty.

"Her name is Snixx as well. I thought it fit. And I adopted her a couple months ago. I got her from the rescue. She'd been so malnourished when they saved her, I couldn't just walk by her. She's just now getting to healthy weight." Santana hummed, scratching softly under the Bombay kitten's jaw.

"I wouldn't be able to either. Hi Snixx. You're my alter ego. Did you know that cutie?' The kitten meowed in answer and the Latina giggled.

"I bet you did. You're pretty smart." Rachel stealthily took a picture with her phone and set it as her wallpaper, deleting the one of her and Finn.

"Seems as if the two of you will get along just as well as she and daddy do. They're best friends. They relax together at the end of a long day. You can come over to see her whenever you like, Santana."

"And what if it's you I want to come see, Rachel?" Well that sounded...flirtatious. Though it did sometimes seemed to that was her former friend's default setting. Except with her, In which case it was antagonistic.

"The offer stands. As much as I would truly love to continue conversing with you, I'm exhausted, I think I'm going to sleep." Santana nodded, making moves to set Snixx down and get up, but Rachel grabbed her arm to stop her.

"No, wait. It's nearly midnight and there's no school tomorrow. Stay. You know where my pajamas are."

"You sure? I don't wanna...I don't know, make you uncomfortable. I have this tendency to wake up cuddled with who ever I sleep in a bed with. Britt says it's because I'm lonely subconsciously. I didn't want to tell her that I'm plenty conscious of how lonely I am."

"I would love to cuddle with you. Go ahead, and get into some pajamas. You know where the bathroom is." Santana just nodded, walked over to unlock Rachel's pj drawer, reaching past the pants to find a pair of shorts. Instead she saw an old t shirt that she definitely recognized, she pulled it up and out, turning back towards Rachel with a grin on her face.

"I can't believe you still have this Rae. I would have thought you'd have tossed it after all the stupid shit I've done." The t shirt was white with an arrow near the bottom and the words 'My best friend' above it. They'd bought a matching pair when they were kids.

"I've never thrown away anything you gave me. I'll show you." She shook her wrist and Santana could see her friendship bracelet appearing from underneath her sleeve. Then she stood up and crouched down, pulling out a flat tote box from underneath her bed. When she opened it, the Latina gasped falling to her knees next to her former friend.

"No way, really? You kept that playbill I made you? And the wish upon a star t-shirt? And...wait, is this the locket?" She reached down and picked the gold star-shaped locket and flipped it open and the picture of the two them grinning like fools hugged up together was still there. She sighed and set it back down. She knew it was most likely something she had said or done to make Rachel decide to stop wearing it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She reached across the foot separating them and buried her fingers in Santana's hair, massaging the nape of her neck.

"I'm just realizing that it's my fault all of this stuff is under your bed instead of being worn or used or whatever. Where's um..where's your ring, Rae?" The shorter brunette held her left hand up and extended it towards Santana, who wanted to maybe cry a little when she saw through that it had been moved from her right index finger to her left ring. It was a simple thing, really. Gold with a star on top. She wondered however, how it still fit.

"I've had it sized consistently over the years. As for the rest of these things, I'm sorry, but you're right." Rachel closed the box and slid it under her bed, climbing back on top while Santana stood back up and walked back to the dresser and picked put a tank top and a pair of shorts, disappearing into the bathroom a moment later.

When she came out a few minutes later, she looked far less cheerful, almost somber. Silently, she climbed into bed next to Rachel and stared up at Rachel's glow in the dark star ceiling. A moment later, Snixx walked onto her chest and curled up to sleep.

"Santana...please look at me?" The Latina wiped her eyes and turned her head to lock her dark eyes with Rachel's. The star sighed and slid across the space between them, slipping her arm around Santana and Snixx both.

"I'm so so sorry, Bear. I promised I would protect you from them then I just became one of them. I don't even know how to make up for this. I feel like I can't. I...guess I'll just show you that I can still be that girl who's whole world revolved around you." Cautiously, Rachel leaned down and sent her lips against the corner of her oldest friend's lips then lay her head down on her shoulder, petting Snixx's head

"I missed you Tana."

"Missed you too, Rae." The black kitten cuddled among them purred quietly, and Rachel wondered how monday would play out. Santana though, wondered what Quinn's play would be. She knew got the mass text just as everyone else did. The fact that she hadn't replied yet grated against the Latina's nerves and made her suspicious. She wouldn't hesitate for a second to shut the blonde down in some way to keep Rachel protected.


	2. Chapter 2

Santana woke up to her phone vibrating against the bedside table, so she grabbed it and tapped on the text icon that appeared, telling her that Quinn had finally replied to the text she'd sent more than twelve hours ago. It vibrated again in her hands and Snixx woke up, meowing and stretching across her chest. She scratched the bombay kitty under her chin and then looked back at her phone, reading what the blonde had apparently woken up at six am to tell her.

Q- what's your play here, S? You know you can't put anyone on the list. You're _not_ Cap and you won't ever be again. Trying to put Berry of all people on the list is the last thing that would help you do that.

S- I may not be Cap but I have the support of the girls and the football team. I'm doing this. And whether you like it or not doesn't concern me, Q. This isn't some mad grab for power to put me in a position to be Captain next year. I could not care less about being on top anymore unless it's used to help protect Rachel. You fight me on this and you'll learn that there is nothing I won't do to keep her safe and happy. Don't test me, Quinn, _please_. I love you like a sister, and I don't want to have to hurt you.

Q- What the hell happened to you yesterday? I've never seen you like this for anyone but Britt. Are you like...into Berry now? P.S. I love you too you weirdo.

Was telling Quinn about she and Rachel the right decision to make? Despite how being at that godforsaken school made them act, they were friends.

Q- Hey, S, you there?

S- Yeah, sorry. Look, Rachel and I were best friends when we were kids, then middle school started and I fucked up like I always do and let this stupid popularity shit get to me. I made her cry today and it broke my heart Q. So I figured it was time to fix all the things I broke. PuttIng her on the list was step one.

Q- I did not expect that when I asked what was going on. But...fuck it, what was step two?

S-I bought her favorite flowers and a basket full of her favorite snacks. The ones that are vegan. She loved it. And she still had this stuffed panther I won for her at cedar point when we were nine named after my infamous alter ego. And she's got a bombay kitten that she named Snixx too. She adopted her couple of months ago. She has everything I ever gave her and all I kept was a t-shirt.

Q- San are you into her? Because it sort of sounds like it from my point of view.

S- No! I mean...I don't know. I was when we were kids but I love Britt. You know that.

Q- I do know that. I just never thought I'd hear you say it. Anyway It's not like I'm saying it would be bad to be into Berry. She's really sweet. Too sweet sometimes. I didn't tell you what she said to me after I freaked out and slapped her after I lost prom Queen.

S- You did what?! Don't make me come lay the smack down, bitch.

Q- I didn't really mean to, S! I was just so...everything I'd been raised to want kept slipping out from under me, Santana. I got pregnant at Sixteen, lost head cheerleader, joined a stupid loser club, my boyfriend wanted someone else, and I lost prom queen. I freaked out. Rachel tried to calm me down and next thing I knew she was holding her cheek. But then...she helped me clean up my make up and wiped away my tears and she told me... She told me I was the prettiest girl she'd ever met but that I was a lot more than that.

S- Yeah, that's how she's always been. She doesn't deserve what we've done to her Quinn. So I'm gonna stop it. It'd be real fucking nice if I could have your support. School years basically over. So it's next year we have to worry about. So we protect her from the bullying, and we protect her from your idiot future ex boyfriend. He's not good enough for her.

Q- I can't help but wonder who you think is.

S- Don't know. Britt?

Q- Are you trying to give me diabetes?

S- Ha ha, no. I'm just saying. Anyway, I'm not trying to control who she does and doesn't date, but Hudson never treated her right. Neither did St. James even though he's back and all 'I love you RBB, I'll cheat and give you a solo to prove it to you'

Q- that sounds about right.

S- It doesn't matter though. Rae's decided she's not auditioning. She heard me practising my song so now she thinks I'll get it.

Q- I'm sorry, did you just say that Rachel Berry doesn't want a solo?

S- Yeah, it's crazy. But...it's what she wants so I'll do it. But shit Quinn, I keep talking about Rae Bear, how are you? I know the whole prom Queen thing fucked you up, but you gotta know Rae was right. You're not gonna be stuck here if I have to tie you to the roof of my car and drop you off in cambridge.

Q- You and I both know I'm not a Harvard girl.

S- New Haven then.

Q- That's more like it. But we have to graduate first. Speaking of, we should plan to get our community service hours this summer.

S- Yeah, we should. I'll talk to Rachel. She's sings at the Lima Memorial pediatric cancer ward every sunday. We could probably do that with her.

Q- Alright

S- Hey, Quinn, You okay?

Q- Not sure.

S- Be there in ten.

Q- kay.

S- Love you, Q.

Pulling her phone from the bedside table and gently sliding the slumbering kitten off her chest, Santana replaced her body with her pillow and hopped out of the bed and slipped her shoes on.

"Mmm, Tana? Where're you going?"

"Gotta go help Quinn. We were texting and she was fine then she just got quiet. I need to check on her make sure she's ok. You can come, but we've got to go quick, Bear." Rachel nodded and got up out of bed, pulled her shoes on and picked up the still asleep Snixx. She dissapeared out the door to go to her fathers' room and give her daddy the kitten then came back and motioned for Santana follow her down the stairs. They were in the car in another few minutes, buckled up and on the way to the Blonde's house.

"What happened to make you worry? You said you were texting her?" The Latina nodded and turned left at the he intersection, reaching over to hold Rachel's hand.

"Yeah. I was telling her about us and she told me about her slapping you at prom, then we were talking about college and getting our volunteering hours this summer and she just got quiet and I felt like something was wrong. So I asked if she was okay and she said she wasn't sure." Rachel hummed, based on what Santana said, she couldn't think of anything.

"I don't know, perhaps it's just depression. A sudden depressive episode or whatever the term is. It's happened to me quite a few times before. Or it could be anxiety. She has mentioned to me before that she's afraid of the future after graduation." They hit a notoriously long red light and Santana looked over, eyebrow raised.

"Really, you were depressed? What caused it?"

"Sometimes loneliness, or thoughts about my mother, or even you." Santana frowned, looking back ahead of her and pressing her foot against the gas when the light finally went green.

"Rae, I'm-"

"No, don't. It's...fine for now. Your actions mean more than your words."

The Latina just nodded and a few seconds later they pulled into Quinn's driveway. Both girls got out of the car and walked up the path, The taller of the two using her key to unlock the door. When they walked in, it appeared that the whole first floor was dark. Santana realized that Judy must be at work. She pulled Rachel behind her up the stairs and into Quinn's room where there was a blanket covered lump on the bed and both girls could clearly hear the blonde crying. Santana sat down on one side of the bed and pulled the covers away then pulled Quinn into her arms. Her sobs only got louder, so Rachel sat down beside them and slowly rubbed the distraught girl's back.

"You're okay Quinn. It's okay. We're here." The shortest of the three said, and though she was still crying, Quinn turned to look back, so Rachel l smiled at her, hoping it would help somehow.

"Rachel?"

"Hey, you. I'm glad you're feeling a little better. Is there anything else I can do to help?" Quinn just cuddled closer to both of them and shook her head.

"No? Are you sure? Because despite my morally superior vegan sensibilities, I'll even cook you bacon if that's what you need, Quinn." She grinned at the unusually quiet blonde as she stood up. No way would Quinn Fabray say no to bacon. Ever.

"Yes, please. There's some in the fridge."

"Okay, I'l return soon." Daringly, The brunette pressed a kiss against Quinn's forehead before she walked out of the bedroom.

"Did she just kiss me?" Hugging her friend even tighter, Santana nodded.

"Yeah. She does that. I think it's her way of showing she cares. Tell me what's wrong, Q. You were fine."

"I just started thinking about Yale and how much it costs and I freaked out I guess. I don't think my mom will have the money to pay tuition for four years. And that's assuming I even get in. What am I going to do if I don't, S? I can't stay here. I just can't."

"I told you, I'm taking you with me. We're friends, Q. That means I'm never leaving you behind again. And seriously, you do realize that you're second in our class after Mike, right? A 4.00 doesn't get ignored from an applicant. Especially when there are plenty of kids trying to slip by with way less. Plus you led us to nationals twice, and if we don't win for glee this year we definitely will next year. Plus we can get a recommendation letter from coach and even Mr. Shue. We'll figure it out, Q. I promise. Talk to your mom, ok? She can't try to help if you don't tell her you need it, babe. Ok?" She pulled back just enough to palm Quinn's cheeks and make her focus her eyes on her. The blonde leaned into the touch and nodded, her eyes open and trusting

"Okay. I'll talk to her when she gets off of work. I missed you." Santana kissed her on the forehead and hugged her back to her chest again.

"Missed you too, Quinn." They lay there silently for the few minutes it took for Rachel to come back up with a tray with food for all three of the them. She settled on the bed in front of the two cuddling ex Cheerios and handed the both of them their plates before grabbing her own.

"Thanks bear. We appreciate it. Q and I are pretty much the BLT fan club." Quinn laughed a bit but nodded, sitting up to grab and then bite into her sandwich. The moan than left her mouth a second later was what made Santana take her first bite.

"Oh my fucking god. No way. How did you even do this? You're a vegan...this makes no sense." Santana dug in again right away, and Rachel giggled and shifted her gaze towards Quinn, who was looking at her like she'd fallen from heaven or something.

"It isn't that big a deal, girl's. But I'm glad you enjoy your sandwiches. I wasn't sure I'd be able to get them right."

"Right? More like fucking perfect. This is like the king of bacon sandwiches. God this is better than sex."

"Agreed." Is all Quinn said before opening the bag of jalapeno chips Rachel had set on each of their plates.

"Of course you would agree. No one's given it to you right yet. Not that it'll matter. The memory of that sandwich will always be better." Santana opened her own chips while Rachel finally dug into her own veggie pita, humming at the first taste.

"It looks like you're feeling much better, Quinn. I'm glad. I've always hated to see you sad. Especially considering you have such a beautiful smile." Quinn's elegant brows furrowed above her eyes and she looked over at Santana nervously. The brunette nodded towards Rachel and reached over to sqeeze the blonde's hand.

"Um, thank you, Rachel. I...uh...I like your smile too. Thank you for coming to help me. I really appreciate it. I know you both kind of had to wake up pretty early to come over here."

"Thank you, Quinn. And don't worry about it. I make a habit of getting up quite early anyway, and even if I didn't, you're more important than the loss of a little sleep, ok?" Quinn just nodded.

"Ok." Santana squeezed her hand once more before letting go and laying back on the pillow behind her, totally full and completely relaxed.

"You two wanna do anything today?"

"Don't know. It's pretty hot outside. My phone says ninety two." Santana hummed. Her idea of maybe spending the day chilling in the park was shot. Sweating was just not her thing unless exercise or sex were involved.

"Well...if you two would like we could spend the the day swimming in my pool. and my dads have off today so we could even have barbecue for dinner. If you're interested Quinn. I know Santana loves ribs, is that okay with you?"

"That sounds amazing. I would love to. But...we're just talking about us right? Not all the gleeks?" Rachel shook her head. She didn't think inviting them would be a good idea either.

"No, just us. As much as I'm all for team togetherness, with us so close to auditions it would only lead to the kind of bitter competitiveness that I'm trying to avoid. I'll call my father to see if we have everything we need. Excuse me." The brunette stood with her phone in hand and walked out of Quinn's room, closing the door behind her.

"She's amazing..." Santana nodded, pulling Quinn back into her arms to cuddle just because she felt like it.

"Yea, she is. She always has been. But so are you, Lucy Q." Quinn smiled softly at the nickname and relaxed just a bit more. She was having a hard time keeping a smile off of her face. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so...just...happy. The fact that it was brought on by her best friend was normal. The fact that it was also in large part due to Rachel Berry was...not. But maybe she kind of couldn't wait until it was.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, don't let me forget to go to the pet isle, I wanna get something for Snixx. Like a teaser or a laser pointer or something." Rachel nodded that she would as she grabbed a grocery cart.

"I can't wait to meet this little kitty that managed to steal San's heart" Quinn said with friendly but teasing tone of voice. The Jewish girl pulled up an empty home page on her phone and showed Quinn the picture she had as her wallpaper that was of Santana and Snixx cuddled together.

"Well this is an overload of adorable. She obviously has you wrapped around her paw. What's with the black cat and stuffed panther Snixx thing though?"

"Oh, well, when we were children, I used to call Santana my panther because she protected me from bullies and other ill-intended fellow students. It stuck with me. So when I saw that cute little kitten I knew immediately what I would name her." They were walking through the produce area, Quinn grabbing peaches and a watermelon while Rachel grabbed a few containers of strawberries, the mushrooms she needed for her sandwich, and some broccoli slaw mix.

"Well, then what cat am I?"

"Lion." Both brunettes answered simultaneously.

"It would be even more legit if you cut your hair up to here. You have massive bed head in the morning. It would look like a mane." Santana said, indicating just above her shoulders.

"Seriously you think I should cut it? Rachel?"

"I think it would make you even more beautiful, Quinn. Lets go grab some poor pig's ribs, head to the pet isle, then we can get going. I would really like to put on some less revealing clothes.

"Rae, you have a hoodie on, it's not revealing. Plus it's pink, you should love it." Santana gently tugged on the sleeve of the hoodie that had the words 'Property of Quinn Fabray' on the back.

"You know I meant the shorts. They're like...like underwear. I feel ridiculously exposed. I can admit that I do like showcasing my legs with my skirts but this is too much. If one more old man leers at me I'll make the both of you shop alone." She said, huffing as they turned towards the butcher's counter and one of the boys working there who thought they couldn't hear him whispered out a quick 'Jesus Christ she's hot'. Quinn and Santana giggled a little from both sides of her, fist bumping behind her back.

"I think you look great, Bear."

"Agreed. But if you're uncomfortable, there's an h&m three or four minutes away from here. I'll buy you a pair of jeans." Rachel stopped and looked over at her, the look in her eyes soft and trusting.

"Really?"

"Yes Rachel, really." Quinn found her arms full of tiny adorable diva not a second later. She looked over at Santana who motioned for her to hug back, so she closed her arms around the much smaller girl and hugged her tight, relaxing into it. God, that felt...good. Really, scary, good. When Rachel finally pulled away to go back to the basket after grinning at her and then walked over to the butcher counter, her nose scrunched up in distaste at the display of slaughtered animal, Quinn locked eyes with the Latina next to her, knowing how lost she felt was clear and easy to see in her eyes.

"Felt good right? Don't worry babe, just get used to it. It's how things are with Rae. It feels good for a long while. And then it just feels like home. It's frightening, really. She says it feels that way for her too. Come on, we better go get her before she starts lecturing the butcher on how immoral his profession is." Santana reached for her hand, palm up, and the blonde weaved their finger together before leaning over to press a tentative kiss on her her best friend's cheek. The grin she got in return made her feel a little giddy inside, and it stayed on her face until they closed in on the butcher counter and heard Rachel arguing with a man who was literally twice her size and probably thrice her age.

"No. What I don't understand is how can you claim to be an experienced butcher and not be able to tell me how the pig this bacon came from was raised. It's very simple. Free range, pasture? Or was it perhaps forested? You know what, Mr. Umbridge, since you have so little information on your own wares I'll simply call Arcadian Acres myself. Have a good day!" Eyes wide as they followed after the girl who'd just argued with a butcher over a food she didn't even eat. They could see another butcher paper wrapped package already in the basket, so at least she got the ribs.

"Rachel what happened? Why were you arguing about bacon of all things?" The shorter brunette dropped said product into the cart and started pushing forward again before she spoke.

"I know that the red wattle pigs this particular farm breeds are raised in a pasture but when I asked him about the ribs as well he didn't know and I got frustrated. This is supposed to be a different kind of shopping environment. I mean, if you're going to eat poor dead animals at least be educated about what you are selling or eating. Anyway, I'm sorry. I know that was probably...I don't want to embarrass the two of you. I know it's more likely than not embarrassing to be seen with me at all." Quinn placed her free hand on the basket stopping Rachel from pushing it any further.

"Stop. Don't say that...and please don't think it. It isn't true Rachel. We're proud to be seen with you if anything. Not the other way around, alright?"

"Seriously Rae. Truth be told everyone else here should be embarrassed they aren't with you. That's how we feel, kay?" Rachel bit into her lip and nodded shyly at both of them. Then turned back to the grocery cart to start to leading them toward them towards the pet isle.

"We know it's our fault you even feel this way, and I know we both wish that there were some magical apologetic words which could turn off that insecurity that we instilled inside of you, but there aren't. So...for as long as you need us to, Rachel, we'll tell you that you are more important than our reputations. And there isn't a single thing wrong with you, okay?" Rachel's looked at her like she'd set the stars in the sky and launched into her arms, hugging her even tighter than before.

"You're the best, Quinn. You too, Tana." Santana pulled her into a quick, tight hug before letting her go back to the grocery cart.

"And please turn off the bambi eyes. You're killing me. I mean jesus christ girl. You're giving me diabetes here. Let's go get Snixx a toy or three."

()

"I feel like I'm going to litterally burst. Like a sausage. An over-stuffed sausage. How could you let me eat so much, Rach?" Quinn pouted, tapping the shorter girl in the leg from her inner tube.

"Don't blame her. You need to get a hold of that smoked pork addiction you have, babe. It's getting ridiculous. You ate just as much as Leroy did." At that exact moment, Rachel's taller father stuck his head around the door frame, narrowing his eyes at the Latina.

"Are you saying I'm getting fat, Santi?"

"Of course not, L. You look even more buff than when I met you ten years ago." He nodded, grinning.

"That's what I thought. These muscles need protein girl! Love you."

"Love you too, L." The man disappeared again, leaving Santana giggling from where she was floating on her own intertube.

"I can't believe you guys have known each other for ten years. But if you stopped being friends in sixth grade, that means...Rachel you haven't met Eddie?" Rachel, who was sitting on the poolside nearest both girls eating a plate literally full of sliced watermelon, shook her head.

"I haven't. I've seen him a few times around town with either Maribel, Santana, or both. But I haven't met him officially. He's so cute though. I would love to meet him. He looks exactly like I thought he would."

She looked down and swished her feet through the water a bit, frowning to herself as she picked up and ate another piece of watermelon. When they were kids, after Santana's father had left her mother and she had yet to learn anything about Shelby, Maribel Lopez had been the closest thing she had to a mother. She remembered sometimes being held by her and crying into her shoulder, the occasional 'mami' that would slip past her lips and the more prominent 'mija' Maribel would let out. She knows the same thing sometimes happened with Santana and her fathers too. The jewish girl looked back up and locked eyes with Santana, who seemed to realize what she was thinking of pretty quickly.

Rachel remembered Shelby rejecting her, how she'd wanted to run back into the arms of her Mami and not the woman who was supposed to be her actual mother but didn't want her. But Santana had made it impossible to do that three years before the incident with Rachel's birth mother occured, so she'd just went home and cried in her room until she was dehydrated and sick. She'd been doubly heartbroken.

She wondered if the older Latina ever thought about her. Because every time she wanted to talk about something that she didn't think her fathers would understand, or anything that just felt like a mother daughter conversation, she missed her. Like when she'd first gotten her period...god talking to her dads about that had been embarrassing. She felt hands on her face tilting her head back up, finally forcing her out of her thoughts, and her eyes locked with startling gold. She drew in a sharp breath, leaning back to balance with her open palms against the tile that rimmed the pool.

"Hey...there you are. Look at me, are you okay, Rachel?" Quinn's thumbs wiped away quite a collection of freshly fallen tears that the brunette had been completely unaware of. She knew it was an inappropriate time to think it, but Quinn was even more beautiful up close.

"I'm okay." Is what she said instead of giving the blonde in front of her the compliments she surely deserved to hear.

"You sure? We were worried. We tried talking to you, you were't answering. You were so far in your head...where did you go?" Those thumbs softly stroked her dry cheeks again, Quinn seeminly not worried about putting any distance between them.

"Just thinking about the past. That's all...I'm fine. Sorry for making you worry." The blonde nodded, climbing up one more step on the ladder Rachel was sitting atop to press a sincere kiss against her forehead.

"As long as you're okay. You had us both worried. San went to get you a bottle of water. She should be back by now, but maybe she's taking to Hiram and Leroy. Matter of fact, go ahead and scoot back and stand up so I can climb out. The pool is the worst place for day dreaming. I don't want you to drown." Rachel followed the blonde's directions, grabbing her plate and standing by the time Quinn was out, standing before her in an almost too flattering pale green bikini. She took Rachel's unoccupied hand and pulled her inside, finding the three other occupants of the house standing in the kitchen with a water bottle and a few prescription pill containers on the counter.

"No. I'm fine, dad. I don't need anything. Quinn...she pulled me out." Though both the Latina and the Blonde beside her looked lost concerning what she was talking about, Santana seemed less so. So her fathers must have explained at least a little before they came in.

Explained how thinking like she had been before sometimes got to the point where she felt like neither Santana nor her biological mother wanted her, that no one but her dads did because she had no friends.

How she'd sometimes work herself into a pretty severe depressive state. Sometimes leading to the point where she'd begin to have suicidal thoughts.

The first time she had told both her fathers and Hiram being a psychologist, had gotten her help. He didn't treat her himself, but he'd known a good, trustworthy doctor. So she had regular, daily doses, and also something to help her when she had sudden episodes such as what this could have led to.

"What are those?" The tallest of the three girls asked, her hand still linked to Rachel's.

"They're my...my meds." She nodded, squeezing gently with her fingers.

"And you need them for instances like what just happened? You getting stuck in your head like that?"

"No. Just that one in Dad's hand. And only for...for when it gets far worse than what you saw. I just don't like the way it feels for the first hour or so. It makes me feel a little loopy. But then it helps."

"Exactly baby. So please just take one for me. We can all sit here and watch a movie or you can do that with the girls. By the time the movie is over that stage will have worn off and you'll feel much better, okay?" She nodded and took the water bottle Santana handed her, swallowing the offered pill before turning to head upstairs to her room, her hand still connected to Quinn's.

"So it, it gets worse? I mean I guess you getting stuck in your head is fine really. It happens to me plenty. I over think things a lot." Rachel finally let go of the taller girl's hand and sat on her bed, leaning back against all the pillows stacked against middle of the headboard. The bed was still unmade, looking the same as when the two brunettes had rushed out of the house to go help Quinn at just before seven thirty that morning.

"Yes. It does get much worse. Sometimes I think about killing myself. It isn't all that often, but that pill is to suppress the chemical imbalance that can cause those kind of desires to turn into actionable options. Or at least that's how Doctor Peters explained it to me. In layman's terms, she said." After a few more minutes of looking around Rachel's room with blatant curiosity written all over her face, the blonde came and sat next to Rachel on the bed. She folded her legs under her and turned to face her.

"Do you feel better? Now that you've told Hiram and Leroy about how you sometimes thought about killing yourself? Do you think about it less?"

"Honestly things are much better. I hated feeling so hopeless. I pride myself on feeling like there's always a way to push forward to another day. So wanting to die was horrible. I felt weak. Telling my fathers was the best decision I've ever made." Quinn nodded, accepting the plate of fruit salad Santana handed her. She'd brought up a plate for each of them.

"But...but what if I haven't felt that way in a while. Is it still important that I tell someone? Because I mean I had some anxiety today, and that's more common, but I haven't felt like...ending things in at least two or three months." She heard the quiet gasp from the Latina, and then there were strong arms around her body and Santana had latched on to her.

"Even if it's been a few months you should definitely speak to someone about it. Like your mother or even my dad. Someone who can help you get professional help. Because the way I understand it is that even if you're fine now, if whatever triggered your thoughts was to happen again, you would go through that thought process all over again. The anxiety is typically a separate affair, but there are ways to address that as well. So you should most certainly speak with someone Quinn."

"Kay." Santana hugged her harder and pressed an urgent kiss against the side of her neck her face was buried in.

"Wish I was bigger so I could hug you both. Can't believe I could have lost my girls. Love you both." Was all she said, seeming more shaken than Quinn was at the realization that she was admitting this.

"We can figure it out, Tana." Rachel moved closer and put one arm around Quinn and the other around Santana, linking them all together.


	4. Chapter 4

"Yo, so Q, babe. I found something to help with the college thing. There's a way to test out of generalized courses. So you'd only have to pay for the classes that focus around your actual major. And Yale accepts those credits. But since it's technically a transfer they accept even fewer applicants. Plus it's gonna mean a lot and I mean a lot of fucking work. But it's possible. I think you can do it. Here, I printed out some info for you last night after you and Rae fell asleep."

"It's called college level placement exams. But I believe Yale only takes twenty or thirty transfer students a year." Santana nodded the affirmative, Quinn's head down as she read through the applicable information.

"Yea. You have to have everything squared away by March, too. But since it's a transfer program, I'm confused about that. Like does it mean next march? Or March 2013? This shit is all pretty complicated, Q. But we'll figure it out." Rachel nodded her head in agreement while Quinn's head finally lifted from her intense study of the documents in her hands.

"What if I don't get in? Even with the CLEP credits and all. Twenty or thirty students...that's a narrow window. And there are without a doubt people with more to offer than I."

"In that case, here. I printed these out for you. It seems you have your heart set on Ivy League, which is something I truly think you can achieve. So this is a list of schools that accept the credits you'll have that are in the general area of Yale, as I was under the impression that you would like to attend in New England. For example, Barnard College. It's a women's liberal studies college, and it's a part of Columbia so you could take courses there as well. They have a theatre major, Quinn. And comparitive literature." The blonde looked at her like she thought Rachel had opened her skull up and taken a look around her brain while she was sleeping last night.

"How did you know about that? That I want to act? I've never told anyone about that or my interest in literature."

"Your interest in literature was simple to discover long before I walked into your room and found full book shelves lining all the walls. When you get bored in glee you tend to sit and read and ignore whatever's going on around you. And as for the theatre, the bookshelf nearest your bed's top shelf appears to be dedicated to stage acting books. How to to project your voice, blocking, learning how play out your character through body language, etcetera. There were quite a few books, so I thought it must be a legitimate interest of yours. I woke up first this morning, so I thought I would look these things up for you. Here. The first few pages concern Barnard College because it's...you know, close. It's on the upper west side."

Quinn just nodded. A women's liberal arts college was just the kind of thing her father would utterly disapprove of. Never mind that whether or not he approved of anything she did was finally becoming the last thing on a long list of things she cared about.

"Santana. Here. For you, Juilliard, the AADA, Tisch, among others. For music, drama, and perhaps even dance. Juiliard even has Jazz studies and composition. Both of which I know hold interest for you, Tana. You are both fantastically talented young women, and I have no doubt that you'll both be successful in whatever you shall choose." They both looked at her like a quite literal godsend. Quinn set her well organized folder full of papers aside and launched herself into Rachel the way the star had kept doing to her yesterday, wrapping her arms tight around her and knocking her over until the shorter brunette was giggling from her position being bear hugged from her back.

"Told you you're a lion, babe. That was a straight up pounce. I wants my hugs too. I guess we're both gonna pile on top of poor tiny Rachel." The Latina joined pile and all three girls lay there giggling until they heard Leroy and Hiram's laughing voices downstairs, followed by the intro to Is It A Crime, Santana's audition song. Rachel wiggled out from under them and shot off down the stairs, leaving both taller girls to follow.

"Stop the music dad!" Rachel stood there at the entrance to the living room, hands on her hips and an all too serious look on her face.

"Baby girl, what's the problem? I was about to dance with your daddy."

"I know you were, but you simply have to hear Tana's rendition of this song. It's her audition piece, and it's magnificent. I would be remiss if I did not offer you the chance to experience it." She turned towards Santana and indicated for her to plug her phone into the sound system on the wall and then ran into the kitchen to retrieve one of the bar stools that served as seating for the large island they often used as a table.

"You three are going to love this, I'm so excited!" She took Quinn's hand and pulled her close, having every intention of dancing with her while the Latina played the lounge singer role for a few minutes. She nodded over at Santana, and the Latina pressed play. The saxophone streamed out of the surround sound speakers in the room, accompanying Santana's voice as she sang the opening lyrics and filled the space around them. She kept with the switched pronouns and let her voice sooth over all of them.

"Is it a crime? Is it a crime? That I still want you, and I want you to love me too. My love is wider, wider than Victoria Lake. My love is taller, taller than the Empire State." The Berry men had looked shocked when the girl started to sing, but were just dancing together now. Quinn and Rachel both had these looks of pure adoration on their faces as they danced close together. When the song finished, Santana pulled her phone from the system, skipped to the next song on the Best of Sade album, and hopped down from her stool.

"Good?" She asked Quinn and the two men who stood a few feet away.

"Good? Santi, it was amazing. You've gotten even more talented. I'm so proud of you."

"Really?" Hiram nodded, opening his arms up for her. She didn't hesitate to launch herself into them.

"Missed you both." She said quietly into his chest when Leroy wrapped his arms around her as well.

"We missed you too, baby girl. Promise you won't go running out on your old dads again?"

"Promise." While she was locked up in the arms of two men who had effectively been the only fathers she'd ever known, Quinn threw a confused look at Rachel.

"You know that Tana's father left them before we even met right?" The blonde nodded and pulled the brunette to sit down on the couch.

"So, after a while, they became father figures to her. And when something happened where she just needed a dad, like all kids tend to at multiple points in their lives, my fathers stepped up to fill that role. She was like a daughter to them. The same could be said of Maribel and I. It's part of the reason Santana abandoning me hurt me so badly. Because she took away the only mother I had ever known as well. It's one of the things that led to my mental and emotional instability. Just please don't tell her. I don't want her to have something else to feel so horribly guilty over. Besides, we're friends again now. I'm sure I'll see her soon." God did she hope she would. She knew it was written all over her face, because Quinn gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"See who?" Santana asked, sitting down next to Rachel. Her fathers were up and dancing with each other again. This time to Kiss Of Life.

"Your mom. Rachel was thinking we could have a family dinner since it's Sunday. She could meet Eduardo and see your mom, and we could cook dinner for the parents. She's already proposed recipes. Roasted garlic herb potatoes and a standing rib roast for we omnivores, and a quick and simple vegan lasagna for the herbivores. Although, sounds good, Rach. I may have try some of yours." Quinn said, letting the expansive lie slip from her lips confidently. Rachel looked back at her and grinned, placing a quick kiss against the corner of her lips before she turned back towards the Latina, leaving Quinn quiet and more than a little confused.

Because that had felt good. Too good, and now she just wished Rachel would actually kiss her. Something to think about later.

"Quinn is right, that is the menu, but now I think about it, I doubt a five year old will like much of that. Perhaps I'll make him oven fries instead and give him some of dad's guilty pleasure frozen chicken tenders. They're of high quality and organic free range. Would he like those?"

"Are you kidding, Eddie loves chicken tenders. He'll get ketchup all over his face and then try to thank you with a hug. And btw, where the hell is my kiss?" She tapped against the center of her lips and Rachel pressed her own against them.

"Now, dad, would you please call Santana's mother and invite her and Eduardo over for dinner? I'm going to get started with all the cooking." Her dads nodded and headed to Leroy's office to make the call. Santana looked over at Quinn, who had a pretty substantial pout on her lips.

"What? She gave you that little corner of the lips kiss and then kissed me straight up?" Quinn just nodded, moving to stand. She'd rectify this her damn self. It wasn't like Rachel was the only one who could go around randomly kissing people. Or just...you know, them. Preferably.

"Nuh uh, get back down here." The Latina pulled her back down and gave her the kiss she'd wanted. Pillowy lips pressed against hers and an she hummed out the pleasure of it. God everything just felt so effortlessly good with these two girls.

"Quinn would you mind helping me with the- Whoa. What's happening." Rachel had walked back to ask for help with peeling and slicing the potatoes for Eduardo's fries when she saw the two taller girl's lips locked together in a kiss that she could only describe with one word.

"Hot." Santana pulled back, winking up at Rachel before she stood, making sure to run both her hands along the shortest girl's hips as she passed towards the bathroom.

"Should...um I mean I suppose I could cook alone if the two of you need privacy."

"Huh? Priva-what? Without you? Oh...oooh...no, Rachel it isn't like that. I was pouting because you gave her a real kiss and you kissed me like, here." She pointed to the corner of her lips.

"Right, understood. But...am I the only one who thinks it's a bit, not strange, but out of the ordinary that we all have the desire to kiss each other constantly? Not that I'm necessarily indicating that you have any proclivities to towards women instead of men, Quinn, but..."

"I don't. I mean...I don't know. It's just more complicated than I thought it was. I always thought people were born gay and they figured it out pretty young and they came out of the closet if or when they want to. But now I'm realizing it's just as irritatingly complex as everything else." The blonde admitted. The last person she had to be afraid of regarding that was anyone inside this house.

"I understand your confusion, Quinn. But you should know it's not something to worry so much about if it's stressing you out. Things between the three of us are unique, surely. But you aren't alone. If you ever need help even just to find out how to address any of this with yourself, I'll never turn you away. Anyway, um, I came in to ask if you and Santana wouldn't mind helping me cook. It's a pretty expansive little menu."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I'm kind of hungry, and it just came out." Rachel shook her head and reached for a pale hand, pulling Quinn behind her into the kitchen.

"It's fine, really. You get started on prep, and I'll make you a snack, okay? When Tana returns from the ladies room we'll get truly underway." Rachel leaned up just enough to connect their lips, letting her right arm come around to rest possesively on Quinns waist, and reaching her left hand up to bury it in the taller girl's golden hair. Tentatively, she swept her tongue along the pink lower lip trapped between hers, smiling against the throaty moan she'd produced. She pulled back to lean against the kitchen island behind her, smiling softly at the now motionless girl before her.

"Was that okay, Quinn?" Hazel eyes fluttered open and focused on her and a soft, open smile followed.

"It was _so_ ok...but what made you... I mean why?"

"I don't want you to feel like I don't want you. And maybe I was afraid that you may have taken the half kiss verses full kiss situation between Santana, you, and I in a way that isn't true to how I feel about you. Does...does any of that make sense?" Quinn just nodded and hugged her before pulling back, giving in to her desire to caress the adorable dimple on Rachel's cheek.

"It makes perfect sense, Rach. Worry not. And...I care about you too. About both of you. I know that for sure. I don't really know how long I've felt this way about you in particular, or how to internally justify the way I've treated you despite my feelings. Something is really wrong with me I think..for me to behave the way I have and still...it just kind of reminds me of my father and the way he did things. I don't want to treat you that way. I don't want to hurt you the way he hurt me." Rachel just nods, but her eyes display that unique, alluring, vulnerability that always just seemed to make Quinn desire her more.

The kind that would have the former celibacy club queen on her knees at the foot of her bed every night begging god for her feelings, her overwhelming desire, to be a test of some kind. It's only now that Russel Fabray is gone from her life that she wonders if he was...is her true test. An impenetrable wall, an obstacle to fight against. One that she won against by an unimaginable technicality.

"Not to disregard the many things I know we should talk about, but...it's okay if I kiss you, too, right?" Rachel just stood from against the island and pressed their bodies together, ensuring that she would be in the blond's arms if she chose to close them around her. Which she immediately did, squeezing the smaller girl as tight as she knew would be comfortable with one palm pressing against the flat of the singer's back and the other falling to just above her waist.

"Yes. Please do." Rachel would never advertise it unless the three of them got to a point in their relationship in which it was appropriate, but she had long ago admitted to herself that being held like this by Quinn was a very prominent fantasy of hers. It was possessive, borderline aggressive. She realized that there was probably something odd about that given how aggressive Quinn's behaviour had been towards her in the past and even recently, but it turned her on, god did it turn her on. She had absolutely no problem with it.

So when Quinn leaned down to cover the few inches that separated them and pressed their lips together, Rachel pushed past what she knew for sure the blonde was comfortable with and swiped with a sure tongue, pushing it inside to taste the taller girl's own when her mouth opened in a quiet moan.

Suddenly, they were exploring each other's mouths and Rachel was lifting up onto her toes to be closer. As a result, Quinn's hand shifted down onto her ass and the taller girl squeezed, tearing a raw, throaty moan from Rachel's lips. She pulled back and fell back to the flats of her feet, her head pressed against the blonde's collarbone.

"God, Quinn..." The taller girl nodded into the Rachel's raspberry scented hair, sighing out her worries and holding the smaller girl to her even closer.

"I really like kissing you. It's new for me, actually really enjoying this kind of stuff with someone. It always just kind of felt like I was supposed to like kissing guys instead of thinking about how much I didn't. It feels good to be doing something because I want to. Especially with you and San."

"It does feel amazing, although I'm sure you can tell I feel that way. Speaking of, where is she? It's been quite a while since left for the bathroom."

"I'm right here, I totally admit I was watching the two of you getting sexy. Couldn't help myself really. You two are...delicious. And anyway, as much as I want all up on you both many many times, we should probably get started on dinner if we want it to be ready when mi familia gets here. I'll get my kisses later."

"I think I speak for the both of us when I say that sounds like a really great idea." Rachel leaned up to press a quick kiss to Quinn's cheek then turned away, reaching into the pantry to grab the potatoes.

"You're right, it's a date, but lets get to work. San can you get started on the potatoes? I'm going to make Quinn a quick snack and then we can get started."

"Got it Bear. Make dinner, eat dinner, have family time, and then I get my kisses. I'm excited," The Latina admitted, already grabbing a few potatoes to wash in the sink.

What she didn't mention however, was how nervous she was. This night was like a family reunion, and that was amazing, really. That they'd all be coming back together again. The problem was that she and everyone else here knew it was her fault that they hadn't really seen each other in six years. She knew it'd be just like old times again and then everyone would wonder for a moment why they'd ever been apart in the first place only to remember that it was her and all her fear and stupidity which had led them there.


End file.
